The Last First Date
by tarin2014tfan
Summary: Leo remembers some pivotal events of his life, and a few regrets.


**The Last First Date**

 **Disclaimer-** I do not own TMNT or any of the characters therein. Some VERY rich dude does.  
 **Rating -** Mature Audiences ONLY  
 **Story Warnings-** Character death due to old age, Mentions of character death, Mentions of afterlife experiences, Mentions of past injuries, Emotional stress. This one is sad. (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)  
 **Pairings -** Implied OT4 (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)  
 **Universe-** 2003  
 **Ages-** Leo is in his 70's with Raph, Donnie, and Mikey all deceased. (I made them this age to account for time passage in the author's storyline.)

 **Summary-** Leo remembers some pivotal events of his life, and a few regrets.

 **Story credits** \- None

 **The Last First Date**

Being last sucked.

He had always been first.

First to walk. First to talk. First to learn a new fighting technique. He was the first to be given his weapons.

Weapons he now no longer used.

He had even been considered first by birth, the oldest of the four.

It wasn't true, according to Donnie, but because of his position and demeanor, it became the general consensus.

Now he was last.

Or maybe he was still first, depending on which way you looked at it.

Either way, it sucked.

Because now, he was alone.

Whether he was the last to die, or the first to live so long, he was still by himself.

A clan of one.

Completely, totally, and utterly...

Alone.

Leo stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking at the upper level of his home. How long had it been since he'd made that climb? Two years? Three?

It had been even longer since he had leapt up the wall bypassing the stairs completely.

Simply put, his body could no longer do it. He, the powerful, able bodied ninja who had once leapt across rooftops on a nightly basis could no longer climb...

He squinted as he counted.

... Twenty steps.

Getting old sucked.

No matter what, he was going to climb those stairs today. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he was going to do it.

He owed it to them.

He owed it to his brothers to climb those stairs one last time.

Carefully he placed his foot on the bottom step. Leaning heavily on the banister, he pulled his other foot up, placing it beside the first.

He paused, breathing deeply while waiting for his heartbeat to return to normal.

Once upon a time it would have taken thirty Foot Ninja to make his heart beat that fast.

A smile slowly graced his withered features.

Thirty Foot Ninja, or a bedroom romp with his brothers.

Slowly he climbed.

Halfway up, he checked his progress.

Good thing he had nothing else planned to do today.

Finally his foot touched the upper balcony.

Damn, he needed to rest. Good thing he left that chair at the top of the stairs. Donnie had often used it after coming upstairs. The genius's knees frequently protested the climb.

Grimacing, he slowly lowered himself onto the seat, not caring about the thick layer of dust.

Everything was covered in dust now.

He leaned his head back against the wall, and breathed. He was so exhausted.

Yeah, used to take a hoard of Foot Ninja to make him feel this tired, now it only took stairs.

He could hear Donnie now, fussing at him for exerting himself.

He sighed deeply. How he missed Donnie.

He missed all of his brothers, but for so long it had just been the two of them.

No! Leo jerked his head off the wall. He had things to do! Important things! He rubbed the back of his hand across his eyes, THIS he would do later.

Time to get moving.

Gritting his teeth against the pain, he stood. He moved a bit too fast, sending himself into a coughing fit.

He braced one hand against the wall as the spasms racked his body. He couldn't afford to fall. The last time he had, he'd given himself a hairline fracture along his shin.

And this time there was no one to help him back up.

Being alone sucked.

Coughing fit over, he made his way to the end of the hall. Stopping in front of the last door, he traced a finger over the faded sunshine motif that had once smiled joyfully on the entire world.

Much like the artist who put it there.

Now it looked more to be screaming in sorrow.

Leo could relate.

He opened the door, and turned on the light. He was momentarily surprised it came on.

Smiling he shook his head, silently chiding himself.

Of course the light would come on, Donnie had installed it.

Picking his way carefully through the clutter scattered on the floor, he sat on the still unmade bed. The only thing the brothers had done to the room on the day Mikey died was remove the bits of uneaten food, old pizza boxes, and candy wrappers.

They didn't want the stench of rotting food as a constant reminder.

Leo closed his eyes. He could still smell the scent of pepperoni mixed in with that of paint and crayons.

Fighting the emotions threatening to overwhelm him, Leo glanced around the room. Cans of paintbrushes, cups of colored pencils, comic books, staged action figures, sketchbooks, lay scattered everywhere.

He'd give anything for a Hamato Michelangelo masterpiece right now.

His eyes stopped roaming, settling on the art table Donnie and Raph had built for their baby brother. He wanted to look away, but couldn't.

It was meant for him, the faded blue rectangle of paper stuck under the clip. It was his birthday card. The birthday card he had never received.

"Mikey..."

He paused. He'd said it all before, apologies, wishes, hopes. After twenty years, there was nothing left.

Well, maybe there was one thing left to say.

"I miss you so much, little brother."

Now there was nothing left to say.

As he prepared to stand, Leo's foot brushed against something soft and fuzzy. Reaching down, he pulled a dust covered, stuffed panda from under Mikey's bed.

He felt a momentary flash of panic. "You're not supposed to be here," he whispered worriedly, stroking the toy between it's eyes. "Raph put you with Mikey to keep him company. He couldn't have his nightlight, so you were supposed to keep the monsters away." Leo's eyes began to water. "It's okay, I guess. He has Donnie and Raph now. How about you keep my monsters away instead?"

With the bear tucked securely under his arm, Leo exited the room, turning off the light, and pulling the door closed behind him. The only sign of his presence was two darkened spots on the cement floor, quickly fading as the tears were absorbed into the dust.

Next was Raph's room.

Leo sat in Raph's desk chair since there was no bed in the emerald turtle's room. Raph had insisted on sleeping in his hammock to the bitter end, much to his genius brother's consternation.

Donnie had had quite the time running IV lines and monitor leads through the mesh.

The genius had pleaded with Raph for hours to try and convince the emerald brawler to come down to the lab. But Raph was stubborn, and refused to go.

Raph knew.

They all knew.

Donnie's instincts were to fight it.

Raph's instincts were to let the inevitable happen.

Leo's instincts were to protect. To protect Raph from Donnie, and to protect Donnie from the harsh reality of another brother dying.

They compromised.

Raph stayed in his hammock.

Leo carried all the equipment Donnie wanted upstairs. And for three days, everything stopped.

Then Raph drew his last breath.

Leo carried Raph downstairs, hammock and all. Donnie threw every piece of medical equipment he had taken upstairs over the balcony railing. They had buried their brother. Cleaned up the mess. And cried some more for three days.

He still remembered the grateful look in his brother's golden eyes when Leo told Donnie Raph was staying in his room. All Raph had wanted was to die his way, on his terms.

It was the last thing Leo could give him.

There were considerably more things left for him to say to Raph than there were for him to say to Mikey, but where Leo had always talked to Mikey and his baby brother just listen, Raph responded back.

He never thought he'd miss arguing with that hot-head.

He sighed. "I'm so..."

He stopped. What was it Raph always said about apologizing for thi... shit you couldn't do anything about? Oh, right...

Don't!

"I should have done more for you, bro. All of you. I wasn't strong enough. I always wanted to be more like you, but... I just wasn't strong enough."

Turning to brace his forearm on Raph's desk to stand, Leo saw it, a neatly folded bundle sitting between an unfinished book about Muhammad Ali, and a cracked mug full of dried up pens, and broken lead pencils.

Reaching out a trembling hand, he gently caressed the faded red fabric.

It was Raph's favorite blanket!

How could this be here?!

Leo had watched Donnie drape their brother's body with this very blanket twelve years ago.

What did it matter how it had come to be there?

It was.

As tears began to burn, Leo pulled the blanket to him, clutching it tightly against his plastron.

He inhaled deeply. It still held his brother's scent.

With a shuddering breath, he collected the panda, tucking it safely inside the blanket.

Red always protected orange.

And he left.

The only thing Leo left behind when he closed the door were more tears fading into the dust of another brother's room, empty for far too long.

Donnie's room was the least unchanged from when it's owner had been alive, simply because Donnie rarely used it.

Most of the time the olive genius could be found sleeping in his lab, watching over an injured or sick brother, or monitoring an experiment. There were times when Donnie had been working far into the night, and was simply too tired to climb upstairs to his bed.

On those occasions Donnie did come upstairs to sleep, it was often in one of his brothers' beds.

Donnie slept in his own bed once every three months, if that.

It became less the fewer brothers there were.

In the end, Donnie just used his room to store things. Important things he wanted Leo to always know where they were.

Memories.

While he went to Mikey's and Raph's rooms to talk and explain, Leo came to Donnie's room to remember.

He sat on Donnie's perfectly made bed hugging his blanket wrapped bear.

It wouldn't take much for him to lay down on that perfectly made bed and sleep. This was the most activity he had had in who knew how long.

He ran his fingers over the soft purple blanket. He was almost done. He could rest in a little while.

For as long as he wanted.

Donnie had chosen well, the items he put in his room. At first glance they seemed to be nothing more than random memorabilia from anyone's life.

Leo knew better.

There was a tangled wad of red and blue fabric, a delicate mosaic heart made from tiny broken bits of colored pasta, a faded hot water bottle, still useable.

He had been looking for that a few months ago.

A torn and stained page from an old cookbook lay next to one of Splinter's old tea tins, and... that was odd.

Leo tilted his head. He didn't remember that little book ever being there.

Reluctant to let go of his bundle, he held it tightly as he slowly shuffled across the room to the chemical scarred table where the book lay.

He picked it up, holding it close to his face as he squinted at the color filled images.

It seemed to be a photo album of some kind.

He felt a wave of disapproval as he slipped it inside a fold of his blanket.

"I'll look at it when I get back downstairs," he muttered. "I need my glasses."

The disapproval changed to understanding.

"Still looking out for me, huh Don?"

This time Leo's tears weren't left to evaporate into the dust layer of Donnie's room. They spread out along the top of the table until they were too thin to be noticed.

Almost as if someone had run their finger through them, rubbing away their sorrow.

He knew it would be a disaster waiting to happen if he tried to walk down the stairs with his bundle of treasures, so Leo dropped them over the railing as gently as he could. He then hurried down as quickly as his aged body would allow, anxious to see if anything had been damaged.

Everything was fine.

With a renewed strength and focus he hadn't felt in years, He continued his tour of the lair.

He visited the garage, running his hand longingly over the driver's side door of the Battleshell.

How long had it been since he'd driven it?

He tugged the tarp protecting Raph's beloved motorcycle from the dust more securely into place. He stopped to pick up what he thought was an old candy wrapper from beside one of the Sewer Sliders, surprised to discover it wasn't a wrapper at all, but an unopened candy bar.

He momentarily wondered how it came to be there, but chalked it up to scavenging rats.

Never one to waste, he tucked it in beside the panda.

It seemed... right somehow.

When he turned off the lights, once again blanketing the room in a ninja's best friend, He could have sworn he heard a sound he hadn't heard in two decades.

His baby brother's laugh.

"After five years alone, I don't mind a few hallucinations," he chuckled.

In the lab, the strangeness continued. He had always heard shadows of his brothers' voices in there, shouting orders, assessing injuries, demanding their injured sibling keep fighting to live, but this time he heard Donnie's voice quietly whispering, drowning out everything else.

 _"You're pushing yourself too hard, Leo. You need to rest."  
_  
"I will Donnie. I just need to finish up."

 _"Shadow can deal with it. Please, big brother, go rest."_

"I will. I promise, Don. Just one thing left to do."

 _"Hamato Leonardo, I'm blaming my ulcer on you!"_

The breaker box was easy to find, Donnie had cleared everything away from it when Mikey had died, and the cold hard fact of reality set in.

He opened the panel, carefully shutting down each circuit. "Bedrooms. Living room. Garage. Communal bathroom. Dojo. And lab."

Using Don's emergency flashlight, he made his way back out to the hallway. Before he shut the door, Leo paused, certain he was mistaking the sound of water running through the pipes as the voices of his brothers.

 _"Think he'll rest now?"_

 _"Doubt it. He's not done yet."_

 _"Betcha ten bucks he goes and gets a cup of tea."_

He paused just outside the kitchen door, eyes roaming over the darkened living room, his mind wandering through his vast supply of memories.

He saw Mikey and Raph wrestling for control of the remote while Donnie sat on the sofa smugly changing channels. He and Donnie playing chess. And Master Splinter walking unsteadily through the room, a chicken tucked under his arm.

He caught himself staring at the extensive collection of DVD's his family had accumulated over the years. How long had it been since he'd watched a movie?

It just wasn't the same without his brothers.

"Maybe later," he patted the panda on top of it's head. "I think some tea is in order right now."

 _"Told ya,"_ the pipes whispered.

He laid his bundle on the table, turning back ever few seconds to make sure it was still there.

For some reason he was afraid it would disappear.

 _"You need to eat, bro."_

"Not hungry, Mikey."

 _"Please, Leo."_

Leo set his cup on the counter. "I'll get something later."

 _"Yer makin' him worry, Fearless. Leaders don' do dat."_

He stared at the kettle as it heated on his only working hotplate. "I've not been the leader for twenty-five years, Raph. Not since we stopped patrolling."

 _"Ya'll always be da leader."_

The whispers from the pipe faded as the kettle began to whistle. He fixed his tea, then turned to the refrigerator. He took out his last banana, wrapping it in a cloth.

"Happy?" he grumbled as he left the darkened kitchen behind.

For the first time since he and his brothers had begun training, Leo broke his Sensei's first rule of the dojo. He carried his tea with him when he entered.

 _"I will allow it this one time, my son."_

"Thank you, Master Splinter."

Leo was as proud of the slight inclination of his head he respectfully gave to the memory of his long deceased master as he had been his first correct bow as a beginning student.

It was the best his aged body could do now.

There they were, glinting dully in the weak light of his flashlight.

Their weapons.

The symbols of their honor, duty, and dedication to clan and code.

He touched each one reverently, Mikey's nunchucks, Don's bo staff, Raph sai, and his beloved katanas. Leaning against the wall beneath them was Splinter's walking stick.

They were the only things in the lair not covered in a layer of dust.

The dojo was one of the three rooms he had taken the time to keep clean.

Out of necessity.

Out of responsibility.

Out of boredom.

That was up until six months ago.

He ran a finger along the flat of his sword, frowning at the accumulated grime. "I need to clean in here. Sensei would be ashamed of me if he could see this."

 _"Later, my son. Go rest."_

 _"And eat."_

"Fine," he grumbled.

Leo smiled as he made his way out of the dojo. Secretly he was pleased to have someone fussing at him to take care of himself again, hallucination or not.

He felt a bit uneasy as he entered the area of the lair he now used as his living space.

He always did.

It had once been Master Splinter's space, and a part of him would always regard it as belonging to his sensei.

He hadn't taken the space by choice, it had been necessity. When Donnie had deteriorated to the point the genius could hardly move, Leo had moved the two of them into Splinter's rooms.

Donnie had died in the very bed Leo now slept on.

After taking a sip of his tea, he carefully placed the cup on the bedside table, along with his banana, and the album he had found in Donnie's room.

And the candy bar he had found in the garage.

He'd forgotten about that.

Mikey would be appalled.

Placing the panda on the opposite side of the bed, he sat down.

He hated this part, getting into bed. His joints and muscles always throbbed when he shifted his weight so suddenly.

Once the pain had receded to a manageable level, Leo stretched out, draping Raph's blanket over himself.

It felt comforting having his brother's scent with him again.

Almost as if Raph was right there beside him.

 _"If ya only knew."_

He reached for the panda, pulling it onto his lap. He couldn't resist clapping it's 'hands' together like they had when they had first gotten the toy as children.

It would be so easy to let himself get lost in those memories.

 _"Eat, Leo. You promised."_

He scowled, clutching the panda, along with a corner of his blanket to his plastron. He didn't want to let go, he'd just gotten them back.

 _"No one's going to take them,"_ the whispers sounded so very much like Donnie's calm, soothing voice. _"You're not going to lose anything else, Leo. I promise."_

Donnie had never lied to him. Even when he was dying, Donnie had been brutally honest with his brother.

"Fine, but just a bite."

Leo knew he sounded like a belligerent child, but didn't care. This was as close to his brothers as he had been for what felt like a lifetime. He didn't want to give it up, not even for a second.

 _"We aren't going anywhere, Oniisan. Eat, then we can look at the... picture book."_

He glanced over at the little photo album lying on the table. How could he have forgotten about that?!

Now he really had to eat!

Keeping his eyes riveted on his reward, Leo ate his banana, chewing slowly, and drinking his tea to keep from choking.

Halfway through, he laid it aside. If he ate anymore, it'd make his stomach hurt.

 _"You did well, my son."_

Now he could look at the album.

He groaned, dropping his head onto the panda.

He forgot to get his glasses! He had left them on the bookcase that morning when he had put away the book he had been reading last night. He'd have to get up and go get them, and he was so comfortable. But he really wanted to see the pictures.

 _"Oniisan, look."_

He looked over to see his glasses sitting atop the album.

They hadn't been there a few seconds ago. How...

His heart began to race.

What was happening to him? Was he losing his mind?

 _"Shit!"  
_  
He was hearing voices of people long dead!

 _"Didn't count on this happening."_

Things were appearing out of thin air!

 _"What do we do?"_

Stuff was moving on it's own!

He clung to the panda, desperately wanting someone there with him.

 _"I got dis."_

Anyone!

 _"It's okay, Fearless. Yer not goin' nuts."_ A warmth surrounded him as Raph's scent grew stronger. _"I got ya."_

He buried his face in the panda's soft fur, partly in fear, partly in shame. "I'm so tired," he whimpered.

 _"I know, bro. I'm sorry."_ The whispers were soothing. _"Wanna take a nap? Jus' ferget da book?"_

"No," he shook his head. "I want to see it. I'm okay now."

Setting his glasses on his face, and keeping his panda close, Leo opened the album. The first picture was one of the four brothers as toddlers. It had been taken shortly after their return from Japan when Splinter had taken Yoshi's remains to his former teacher, the Ancient One.

"I remember this."

The next few pages were more pictures of them as children. Their first Halloween, Christmas, and New Year's. A birthday party, probably one of Mikey's. Their first TV. Donnie's first working computer.

He turned another page.

The day they first met April.

Casey.

His smile dropped off a little seeing the image of Casey and Raph smiling at the camera. Those two had once been so close. Like brothers.

But all that had changed.

Raph never forgave Casey for not being there with April that night.

The night that had resulted in their baby brother's death.

Raph had died hating his best friend.

When he turned the page, Leo wasn't expecting to see the next three pictures. He thought he'd done a pretty good job of keeping THAT a secret.

When he and his brothers became lovers, Leo had taken it upon himself to give each one a special memory humans tended to take for granted, a first date.

Mikey had been first. Mikey's date was fairly easy. All Leo had to do was have a little ready cash on hand, and be patient.

For three years.

That was how long it took for circumstances to be right.

A quiet winter's night. A gentle snowfall. Pizza. Hot chocolate. And NO Foot ninja. No Purple Dragons. No invading aliens. No mystical threats to the safety of the planet, or it's occupants.

It got to the point it seemed like NO ONE ever took a day OFF!

Then it finally happened.

Everything was quiet, had been for weeks. No break-ins. No attacks. No invasions. No nothing the police couldn't handle. Donnie was deep into an experiment. Splinter was deep into a week long marathon. And Raph was deep into rebuilding his motorcycle.

Leo would have hunted Hun down, and handed the overgrown Neanderthal a medal if he hadn't already been dead. It was the perfect excuse to take Mikey out of the lair for a few hours.

They had watched the snow falling while enjoying their pizza and hot chocolate. Then after they returned home, Leo had made love to Mikey all night.

Raph had been pissed the next morning to find Mikey making Leo's favorite breakfast, pancakes with fresh fruit, and the sea green turtle refused to make a single substitution.

Raph wanted chocolate chips.

He snickered at the memory.

Next had been Donnie.

The genius' tastes were as different from Mikey's as night is from day, so Donnie's first date had taken a bit more planning. Well, a LOT more.

Again, Leo had had to wait for their numerous enemies, and the weather to be in a cooperative mood. It only took a year this time.

He had packed a basket with a wide variety of sweets; it was no secret Donnie had a sweet tooth. Gotten three cups of Donnie's favorite coffee; one for himself, and two for the olive turtle. Then loaded everything into the Battleshell, genius included; and headed for Casey's farm.

They had spent the night under the stars, talking, eating, and making love until dawn.

Raph's first date had been the easiest, and hardest of all.

For the longest time he had had no idea what to do for the brawler that would be considered romantic, be something Raph would enjoy, and be within Leo's skill range.

Here he was, over seventy years old, and still couldn't make a decent slice of toast.

In the end, he had simply taken Raph out for a walk through Central Park, during Fall at dusk. They did nothing more than walk, hold hands, and talk. Leo had been certain Raph felt jilted. That Leo had went to so much trouble for the two youngest, and all Raph had gotten was a stroll through the park.

Late one night, as he lay on his deathbed, Raph had asked his oldest brother to get something for him. Something he had hidden away in a box in the far corner of his closet.

It was a leaf.

A beautiful golden leaf, carefully waxed and lovingly preserved.

Raph had confessed that date with Leo was his most treasured memory, and had thanked his brother for loving him enough to give it to him.

The brawler had slipped into a coma two hours later. It was the last thing Raph had said to him.

Raph's leaf now sat on Leo's bookshelf next to a tiny mechanical samurai Donnie had made, and a comic strip of "The Greatest Ninja Alive" featuring Hamato Leonardo drawn by Mikey.

He had a difficult time seeing the last few pictures. His eyes kept tearing up. Before he turned the final page, he took a few minutes to settle his emotions, and wipe his eyes.

He was glad he did.

The last picture was of his three brothers, arms draped around each other, all smiling at him. A caption across the top read, "We Miss You!".

His brothers looked so young, it must have been taken during his time with the Ancient One. He didn't remember it. He'd never seen it before.

 _"Time to go to sleep, my son."_

"I am tired." He was also reluctant to let go of his precious memories.

 _"Everything you need will be there when you awake, my son. Do not fear."_

"Okay, Sensei."

Leo took off his glasses, carefully placing them on the bedside table next to the photo album. He snuggled down in the bed, pulling his blanket up around his neck. He clutched the panda tight, afraid he may drop it while he slept.

 _"Do not fear, my son."_

 _"I gotcha, Fearless."_

 _"Everything'll be alright, Leo. I promise."_

 _"Sweet dreams, bro."_

He closed his eyes, fighting the sleep that called him. He briefly remembered he needed to turn off his light, but his body felt so heavy he didn't want to move.

Each time he closed his eyes, the room seemed darker, and darker, until it remained dark.

With a smile on his face, Leo finally drifted off to sleep.

Three days later, when Shadow and her husband came to check on him, she found Leo in his bed, wrapped in a ragged red blanket, clutching a stuffed panda, and looking more peaceful than she ever remembered.

* * *

 _"Leo. Hey, Leo. Time to get up, bro."_

Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking against the brightness.

 _"Look who's awake! 'Bout time, Fearless!"_

He sat up, pushing aside his blankets. Was this some kind of weird hallucination? A dream? It couldn't be real! Could it?

 _"I was beginning to think you'd NEVER get here, bro!"_

He couldn't believe it!

 _"Raph? Mikey?"_

Someone was missing. He looked around.

His face split into a wide grin,

 _"Donnie!"_

They were there! They were all there!

He jumped up, latching onto whoever he could, holding on for all he was worth. He didn't care how undignified it was. He didn't care how he looked. He didn't care that he was crying.

He had his family!

His elation was immediately replaced with fear.

 _"Where's Sensei!?"_

 _"He'll be back in an hour or so. He's letting Yoshi know you've finally come home."_

Donnie had never lied to him.

 _"In the mean time, we got a surprise for you!"_ Mikey's grin was so bright Leo swore it would have lit up the whole universe.

His brothers stepped aside, letting him see a huge TV array, with not a single cracked screen; several large sofas; a coffee table, filled with bowls of snacks and drinks; and a stack of movies as high as Mikey was tall.

 _"What's all this?"_ he asked.

 _"Well, we figured since you gave us a first date, we'd return the favor,"_ Donnie smiled.

 _"And, dude, let me tell you, YOU are a hard guy to plan a date for!"_

 _"Yeah, ya don' want nothin', an' ya took forever gettin' here!"_

Raph laughed.

Leo looked at his brothers, drinking them in. _"You're wrong, Raph,"_ he said softly. _"There is something I want. Something I've wanted very much for a very long time."  
_  
 _"What's dat?"_

 _"My family."_

Thanks for reading.


End file.
